Ok, vibe check: it’s 8 PM on a Friday night. You’ve been doomscrolling TikToks all week—people laughing it up in aesthetic coffee shops or serving main character energy at indie book clubs. Now you’re in bed, fully wrapped in your burrito blanket, arguing with yourself about that artsy networking event you RSVPed to forever ago. Like, yeah, you do want to go—deep down, your soul is screaming for some IRL human connection. But let’s be real: your blanket cocoon is undefeated, and TikTok’s algorithm knows you better than half your friends.
The math ain’t mathing.
This tension is peak Gen Z energy. We’re a generation caught between two extremes: the desperate craving for real, in-person connection and the very real desire to retreat into our safe zones when the social stakes feel too high. It’s why cancelling plans is our love language and why group chats are sometimes more active than the actual meetups they’re meant to organise.
The question is: why are we like this? And more importantly, how do we make it work when the connection feels like an emotional tightrope walk?
The Craving for Community IRL
For a lot of us, the dream of community is rooted in nostalgia for something we’ve never actually experienced. We imagine these magical, IRL gatherings where we’ll suddenly find “our people,” a group of like-minded souls who just get us without the filter of screens or emojis. Think cozy bookstores, retro-themed cafés, or a vinyl-swapping party in someone’s loft apartment. We want the kind of connection that feels like it belongs in a movie montage, soundtracked by Phoebe Bridgers or Harry Styles.
And honestly? This yearning is understandable. We’ve grown up in a world where a lot of our connections happen online—Discord chats, DMs, gaming lobbies, TikTok comment sections. And while that’s great for accessibility and convenience, sometimes it can feel…hollow. No amount of “lol same” replies in a group chat can fully replace the warmth of hearing someone laugh IRL or the random magic of making eye contact with a stranger who later becomes your bestie.
✨ Hot Tip: Make it low-stakes. Instead of aiming for big events with strangers, start small: invite one or two friends to something chill like a coffee shop hangout or a flea market. Easier to vibe, less pressure to perform. Bonus: you can leave whenever.
The Cocoon Dilemma
Let’s be real: cocooning is more than just a habit—it’s a lifestyle. We’re the first generation to grow up with digital cocoons that feel as comfortable as our real ones. Everything we need—social interaction, entertainment, validation—is just a swipe away. Why risk the unpredictability of an IRL event when you can get instant dopamine from a perfectly curated meme or a late-night FaceTime with your bestie?
And then there’s the world itself. Between the pandemic, economic stress, and existential dread about, well, everything, cocooning often feels like the only sane choice. It’s not just social anxiety; it’s self-preservation. Because let’s face it—there’s something deeply comforting about the control we have in our digital spaces. We can choose when to engage, when to mute, and when to disappear entirely.
✨ Hot Tip: When cocooning feels too comfy, trick yourself into stepping out. Commit to a “half-outing” like walking to the park or hitting your favourite bookstore solo. IRL doesn’t have to mean big energy—start with spaces that recharge, not drain you.
The Reality of Showing Up
This is the messy middle Gen Z is trying to navigate. How to balance the need for connection with the reality of limited social energy. The truth is, showing up isn’t always easy—but it’s almost always worth it. Take the networking event example. Let’s say you actually decide to go. You put on your best “effortlessly cool but low-key comfortable” outfit, take a deep breath, and step into the room. At first, it’s awkward. People are clumped in groups, and you feel like the outsider. But then, someone compliments your tote bag, and you strike up a conversation. Before you know it, you’re swapping Instagram handles and laughing about something so niche, you can’t believe someone else understands. That’s the thing about IRL connection—it might feel uncomfortable at first, but it has the potential to surprise you in ways that digital interactions rarely do. It’s raw, unfiltered, and sometimes a little messy, but that’s what makes it real.
✨ Hot Tip: Prep for success. Before you go to an event, set a simple goal like “talk to one person” or “stay for 30 minutes.” You can always leave after hitting your goal—and if you don’t, at least you tried. Gold stars for effort.
The Takeaway
Gen Z’s relationship with connection is complicated, but it doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. We can embrace our love for cocooning without losing sight of the magic that happens when we step outside of it. After all, being human means finding ways to hold both truths: that it’s okay to need your safe space and it’s also okay to take a chance on connection—even when it feels a little scary. So next time you’re debating whether to go to that event you RSVPed to, ask yourself: what’s the worst that could happen? And what’s the best that might be? Sometimes, all it takes is one small step out of the cocoon to find a connection that’s worth the risk.
✨ Hot Tip: After the event, treat yourself. Whether it’s a bubble bath, your fave snacks, or a TikTok binge, give yourself something to look forward to afterwards. A reward makes the risk so much sweeter.
